Racial Facebook Exchange On Black LGBTs And Marriage Equality
Looking at the lack of comments so far on our most recent post (What Do Black LGBT/SGL People Really Think About Marriage Equality?) we’re going to assume folks are chewing on the question and thinking about it some before they post their thoughts (well after all it was just posted less than an hour ago). In the meantime however, others seem to have found themselves slighted for the question only being posed to African American LGBT/SGL individuals. We just arrived from a rather nasty exchange on Facebook. One of our connections there shared the post on his profile. The feedback was interesting in that it all came from white gay men. One in particular took issue with the notion that a specific group of people be asked the question we posed here at RENWL.org. Well, we responded to his concerns and things got heated. Take a look at the following:
I have a problem with singling racial minorities out of sexual minorities under some purportedly existing “community.” Ask people. Ask a bunch of people. But don’t address questions to a “community.”
about an hour ago
SGL? WTF.
about an hour ago
Skanky Gay Losers? Those come in every color…
about an hour ago
I suspect that LGBT may have some baggage in some communities.
about an hour ago
but for all of us..regardless of race..is marriage it for us..or do we shoot for full federal equality??
about an hour ago
Full federal equality, no one should rest until all people are treated with dignity!
about an hour ago
FULL FEDERAL EQUALITY!
39 minutes ago
@Bruch: I have every right to ask my OWN community that question. That’s part of the problem. Many gays who are not of color take offense of LGBTs of color being proud of our ethnicity and the communities we build with our shared heritage. I’ve always wondered what that was about and why you find it so threatening. It feels like a form of racism itself.
37 minutes ago · Delete
Not sure who thinks marriage is the end game, and not just a step forward…
37 minutes ago
Full federal equality nothing less
19 minutes ago
which community? Gay people? Or black people? Or gay black people? If gay black people, are you counting the just the ones who are open about it? Just your friends? Are you going to ask all the black homos who get saved every Sunday and condemn their desires and deny their activity? Mind you, I don’t have a problem with any of this — ask away! But… See More don’t claim to be asking — or speaking for — any “community.” Don’t pretend there’s any such thing, or any consensus at all.
In no way can anything I’ve said here be interpreted as me taking “offense of LGBTs of color being proud” or their “ethnicity” (your word; I find it weird but am going with it for the sake of your argument). Don’t play the race card with me, buddy — it’s not appropriate, justified or necessary. I recognize black pride, and gay pride, and I’m very happy to celebrate both. But the original claim of “community” in this context, and this survey’s claim to any sort of consensus, I find ridiculous.
13 minutes ago
CRACKER FUCK YOU!
12 minutes ago · Delete
Wow. True colors revealed, eh Derrick? And your true color is, apparently, “racist.” Good day to you, sir.
10 minutes ago
Honey has nothin’ to do with race. I call em as I see em. Gay black? Black gay?
2 seconds ago · Delete
So there you have it. What I find amazing was that this gentleman couldn’t see his own racism. I apologize for what I called him. But he pissed me off. It felt like he was baiting me. And that’s no excuse for the name I called him. Nonetheless he was mocking my community. And when I say my community I’m talking about my fellow LGBT/SGL African Americans. The thing is, what someone like that doesn’t realize or respect is that other people, though they may be homosexuals, come from different worlds and communities and identities. To be gay and not respect and celebrate this throughout and among your community is not to be sincerely present to to the so-called civil rights struggles facing the overall LGBT community today. In writing the post to African American LGBT and SLG individuals I sought to appeal to their feelings, thoughts and concerns of my fellow AA LGBT and SLG community members. Not to incite a racial-tinged and antagonistic confrontation with a white gay man because he felt it was wrong for me to appeal to this community of African Americans of which I belong. What the hell is that about?
I don’t know if I’m saddened by that exchange. I’m still stunned. I find it disturbing in what it brought for both me and that person. Could what happened between this white gay man and myself be part of some sort of disconnect between African American LGBT/SGLs and gay white America? Is this why LGBT African Americans as a community are not showing up in full force for marriage equality? Is it because of race and racism? Oh and by the way, that last question is open to EVERYONE.
Community, Opinion | Derrick Mathis November 25, 2009
11 Comments to “Racial Facebook Exchange On Black LGBTs And Marriage Equality”
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By Cleo Manago, November 25, 2009 @ 1:16 am
Derrick, look, stop wasting your time, especially on line, talking to some subjective very White dude about issues that aren’t his, and that he can care less about – Black issues. His attitude was White gay dude 101. Do you somehow need approval or understanding from the likes of him? That he may be a cracker or not is 100% irrelevant, just as whatever his position on what’s important to you is. I think you got angry because some hopeful part of you wants people like Bruch to care. Man, he sees the world through the self-serving and selective “Whites” of his eyes. Move on. I only argue with White dudes when I’m extremely bored and in the mood to take a philosophical safari through some subjective, racist, ignorant, self-serving, blind bullshit. Please ignore the next unoriginally convenient, “race-card” accusatory White dude you run into, or let me at him. If I have trivial time, I’ll handle it for you. Otherwise take advantage of your delete button.
By Cleo Manago, November 25, 2009 @ 1:25 am
Black people, overall, (including Black homos) will not be backing any issue that’s wrapped up or chiefly presented in a White gay agenda-laden package. Forget it. This is the same group with members who racistly and ignorantly blamed that Prop 8 passed on Black folks; it’s also a community that practices racism more than safe sex. If you want Black support, it has to be immediately relevant to Black life, culture, civil rights and history. Right now, it simply looks like a White gay agenda issue with some misguided gay identified Blacks pushing the issue. Personally, I’m for the rights’ that would come with what’s unfortunately being called “Marriage Equality” for same-gender-loving (SGL) people. But, promoting it for Black support will require a more relevant to Black people explanation and presentation.
By Bruch Reed, December 14, 2009 @ 7:42 am
Interesting, Derrick, that you choose to apologize here on your private blog where you come to nurse your wounds and grudges, but not in the original forum where you hurled the racist epithet at me. It would seem, based on what I’ve seen, that you’re not only a racist but a hypocrite as well. In any case, it is apparent that you can’t have a civil discussion on this issue, or any issue on which someone might have the temerity to disagree with you. This ignorance on your part is saddening, because we — humans, gays, black and white — NEED honest, forthright discussion on this and other issues and I think it’s too bad you blew this chance for civil discourse.
As for your friends who posted here, the “whites of [my] eyes” can see their racism and idiotic bigotry just as plainly; he, too refers to me as a “cracker.” For the record, I don’t blame the passage of Prop 8 on black people, though the venomously antigay hatred on spewed from many a “black” church pulpit is certainly worth factoring into any discussion of the continued particular subjugation of black gays within the larger black community.
In the future, I suggest that you thoroughly examine your own prejudices before putting such ignorance on display. If and when you manage to do that, I would be pleased to continue — or, rather begin — a discussion of these important issues.
Oh, and I am still awaiting your apology in the original forum.
Sincerely,
Bruch Reed
By Derrick, December 14, 2009 @ 5:02 pm
Me shaking my head. Oh Bruch. Bruch Bruch Bruch. I’m just curious how you knew how to find me. Tell you what. You’re absolutely right. The name calling deserves an apology. I’m going to go do that right now as a matter of fact.
By Bruch Reed, December 14, 2009 @ 6:05 pm
Thank you very much for the apology in the original forum. I’m sure it was a difficult thing to do and I both appreciate and accept it.
Your blog was brought to my attention through a Google Alert I have set up to let me know when my name appears. Frankly, the blog troubled me more than the original exchange 1) because I was once again atacked (by your friends) and 2) because I feel I ought to have been made aware of the blog post by you, so that I might respond.
Derrick, do you understand that I have nothing whatsoever against you? My original posts on Stephen’s page had nothing of the personal attack against you or anyone else in particular in them, no assertion that I was somehow better than anyone. I questioned certain practices and ideas and stated my own thoughts and opinions about them. My thoughts and opinions were open to probing and yes, even attack. Forget about the “cracker” bit, that was just silly and we’ve put it to rest. But when you jump to the conclusion that I am a racist because I dare to question something you’re doing or thinking that has to do with race, I don’t think that’s fair or helpful; there ARE racists out there who will discount all your ideas simply because you’re black, and there are other racists who will patronize your ideas just because you’re black. I fit into neither of those categories. You’re a person, a man, and so am I. We both speak from our respective places of experience and sense of justice. I respect you out of hand, colorblindly, as a potential friend and/or a potential foe — but the point is that I respect you.
Peace to you, and yours this holiday season.
Sincerely,
Bruch Reed
By Thommy, November 10, 2010 @ 12:44 pm
Wow, I just happened upon this. My little opinion is that Derrick is very, very racist – towards white people. Cracker? Really? My, my, but you are nothing more than a 1960's, southern, backward hillbilly. I am shocked! If someone called you a black, racial slur it would make headlines. Ah the double standards in our society.
Gays are one of the only accepted forms or discrimination left in this country. It is sickening and so sad. Don't devide the gay community by race. It is hard enough being devided by "normal society". This entire exchange really bothered me. Bruch, you have some very valid points and I respect you. Derrick, not so much.
By Derrick Mathis, November 10, 2010 @ 12:52 pm
Of course you think I'm racist. And I'm sure that you don't see it in many gay whites. It's so funny you should comment on this post. I just was reading a post by David Mixner on his blog. He actually had the nerve to compare Lyndon Johnson to Barack Obama.
And how he did it was typical of white gay men like him who've did this before; he completely sidestepped black America's own participation in a quest for equality. But that's my idea of racism. Thanks for sharing yours.
By Chitown Kev, November 12, 2010 @ 1:09 pm
"Don't divide the gay community by race?!!!?!!!!!!!
It's ALREADY devided (LOL.) by race, dude.
And class. (uh, that whole thing about the A-gays…)
And gender.
And I'm
By Chitown Kev, November 12, 2010 @ 1:14 pm
derrick, I suspect that part (not wholly) of the reason that it's threatening is because because of white privilege it's easier, in some ways, to leave the community of their "shared heritage" and find a (mostly white) gay community to assimilate to.
I guess with me, I always expected white gays to be and act…well, white (culturally, that is) I guess, so I'm never surprised when they act that way…
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3275400 beers on the wall.
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